So you want to read this journale. Good to you. At least you intersted by something I made.

But the true is I'm feeling alone, lonely, like no one give a thing about what I am or what I can really do. My draws mean nothing, but just a tons of pretty colors no one will see it. I've made good characters and trying again and again to be better and better but no one will notice isn't it ? So why is so hard to not love good talent ? Why I feel unable to progress like everyone else ? Why the Life is so agaisnt my only whis I want... being notice ? Why all I want now it's just gving Up. I don't want to give up, but everything else just show me this every time and every day now. Just showing me that no one will miss me, no one will notice I don't existe anymore. So what matter if I give up Or not if anyway no one will see I've diseapered. I'm tired to fight so much and don't even getting help for this. And I know it's feel so good to been followed by people who love what you made and how far you can go. It must feel so good to get so much support by them when your down cause those good people will give you anyway their support because they want you to conitnue. Why I can't get this ? What I'm doing so wrong they dong so good ? Somewhere I'm jealous of them. I admit I'm jealous right now. I envy those who got that kind of success. Did... did the choice of ma path is bad ? Should I absolutly should go the same way than everyone else do ? Why should I go that way ? I want to go in the opposite way. Or how I prefer, my own way. An harder one... but... but why I never get reward for this ? What is the purpose of my dream if in the other side no one see what I do and admire what I'm doing. Maybe that's why Eevo is born. Maybe, she is my frustration, that kind of frustration you feeling like even you doing something good it will only taste bad at the end. Peopla said I should not worry about this because it will come by themself. Yeah I will like to believe this... but look carefully it's been 4 or 6 years now I tried again and again to bring attention on my stuff and it's almost never move. I'm really bad ? There another thing that bugs me. Normaly people will be glad to give money and comission people or just a simple request you get by someone else. But the only feel I got is... pain, like I don't like it because those image will get more attention than what I'm doing they will get more interste than the rest of my whole gallery. eachtime it's hurt me no one notice the other things I've done. All it matters it's the good art of the other one because they made a way better job than you. WHY !? It's my character I ask for him to doing it. Why don't you go check in my gallery see where did they come from ? Why you just ignoring my existance and go away like a thief once you've appreciate something I don't made. Are people really are like that ? I must say I'm not better. But at least I give a shot to that guy once I love it's stuff. But it's true I don't do better right ? I like struff and go away like a thief and maybe never giving a hot at this person because just one piece is not enough to me to convince me to starting to support anyone. Maybe that's only what I am. Only a personne who give support because so far so long... all I've made is just... giving support to those I think need more support than me... I know my place, I know draings are great I know I give birth to really good characters... but even there... I can't shine properly. I can't see what it's feel to be really support. Really how it feels to get that much support behind ourself ? I wish to be there. Really hard I wish I will like to get there. But... did really anyone really support me ? Outside my familly, I'm so lucky to this... but it's not enough not at the level I am. I need to evolve now I need to get to the next level. But just why I can't go any faster ? Any better ? Because for now all I feel it's progressing... Alone, lonely without any support on my own. Should I do something ? Or do I go Really wrong with my ideas ?

It's been two days I feel that way now and I don't know how long it will continue. Everything has falls apart from every angle of my life, Feel really down actually. Every project I've started has been crush since the 20th March this year. My cards castle has been blown away since then. Yeah I know everyone has been affected by that virus. But I wasn't at the start, but since then, I feel like I loose every motivation to continue to do what I really want. Even my own peice aren't has fun as just before. As I've been able to plan myself and organising every step of my life. It was fun, so alive, motivate and so great to feel in constant motion just because I have goals. But since a few day... every goals just shatterd in multiple pieces one by one each of them. I lost my job, I gave up School, my travel to France might be cancel to ONLY ME. It's so unfaire now. Because I'm as lucky I am as unlucky I've become. Drawing is my last hope, my very last weapon I have to hold so tight to my dream now... so please, if any of you just read everything about this give me a reason to continue and keep going. Because now all I really need is support. So will you give me that hope or doing like everyone else and let me down. Anyway I'm not that far to give up now. But please, I really want to continue, I really want to keep going.

So thanks to read me and maybe it will be my very last light of me or the first one of a new hope.