Here is my thoughts about 2021 and what will happen in 2022

So if you don't want to read what is follow up, it's okay I wouldn't blame you. But this must comes out. You must know this piece was the hardest one I ever made. Not physically, in fact it's give me some tips to do better shading and lightning. No that's not the case.

It was the hardest mentally, I don't know what has happen all of a sudden I was sad. But also highly annoyed. I don't think I'm in a burn out stade or depression. That's for sure. But beforehand of all, let's see what has happening in 2021, well I've got a really rough start in irl, I wanted to give me the challenge to try to do an animation (A sprite Animation) with a completly hand made characters, a fan one, Mango I will show you a little sample of what is look like. Here:

But doing this without a job and well noway to pay my bills, hoping at the end of 2021 I skyrocket because of this animation. Crazy plan which I think it wouldn't work because of how lucky I am for that. So in march I've got one new job. and. I. Hated. This. Job. You don't know how much I wasn't happy at this moment. But I hated it for the bottom of my soul. It wasn't a job for me. Fortunately the following month I've been able to quit for a new one which I was happy, it's this one I have actually.

It's allow me to go even further in my steps and well getting new materials, like a screen graphic table, an all new PC. My arts get better because I didn't have that strange feeling on my hand wich blocked and I wasn't able to do some angles in my draws. No really, I wasn't able because my brain wasn't able to see where my hand really wanted to go. So I'm glad now Ive got all those new material. Now I give better qualities stuff. And I'm happy with that ^^ So afterward and in the meantime, I've started to ask for commission to give some teasing about that animation, and fleshing out a bit more Mango with her partner Toadette and Starlow. But well I didn't get as much attention, but they flesh out well Thanks imagination.

Which it's end up with this, my last piece of 2021 and at the same time the 1st one of 2022. As I said sooner I've got weird mental feelings when I was working it. I've become suddenly completely impatient. If it's been 5 years or a bit more, you work so hard to get a result like that, but never met more than something like 30 people following you ? Does something wrong with me ?

I'm starting to doubt myself if it's really worth it to keep trying in this road while my dream being crush again by the reality. I don't want to keep working on a job where I'm fine, but not what I want. Why I keep trying but never met a success ?

I want to be free of this and doing what I love most, drawing, working on big projects and doing something like the Blue Secret Santa or my own one like the Really Hot, Hot July. I want to make alive my characters giving them my reason to live. My reason to be motivate. But the more I try the less I want to keep going. Why it's still so hard to reach it where other have succeed ?

It's really hard to me to keep on track and telling to myself "it will take the time it should" or "It's impossible no one love what I'm doing, not with this quality". What I'm doing so wrong other don't ? Which step I should do next ?

Those are the question I have actually in my mind. Wondering when my turn will come. Somehow this is on what I actually motivate myself to keep going and wishing one day all that really hard works which I put so much hours on it. All this Secret Blue Santa was my pushover to show the world how good I am now. How far I progress and asking then why I keep be ignored. Do I need to do more arts ? Or publishing more often ? Because you only become notice if you do a thousand and they must be good otherwise you just annoyed people because your not that good.

I hope I'm wrong here. But I don't feel helped by those site where I publish all those good piece. All I want is shining like any other artist. So is it okay to ask with a "please" at the end ? Please you who read this would you follow one more artist who is dreaming like any other artist and be an independent one because you believe in me. Because that's my issue, I don't have a lot of trust in myself. But I worked on me so hard to not let me down.

And so, this brings me to what I've plan for 2022: In short terms, this month, February and March I've plan to open my Patreon page and a Commission page. Yep I will finally does this for other but I will be paid for that. For now my price will be cheap. Here to the end of march I hope getting a bit of people supporting me and well having more time for myself and my arts and leaving bits by bits my actual job. My best goal is reaching 1200$CDN per month.

With that I will be able to keep the actual pace I ask to my boss. This means working 2 days per week there and all the other days are mostly for my art stuff. With a 1 or 2 days of free time for myself.

This is my plan for the next three month. In that it's include the continuation of my sprite animation (1 day per week), an all new series with a book I want to read and make an adventure with Licx (My Squirrel gal) (This one will goes 2 days per weeks). 1 art stream per weeks. And of course one day for commissions. After March tho I don't know what will happening, all will depends how much this plan has succeed. At best I keep my actual schedule at worst I go back to my old one. 1 season at time.

I just hope this try will work this time. I've worked so hard I don't want to give up. So this is pretty much what I've got to say. I really hope for the greatest in 2022 I really hope this time I can shine like others and my hard work will finally pay off. So here it is my plans and my thinking for 2021 & 2022.

So one more and last time. Have an outstanding 2022 everyone take care of yourself and wish me for the best. As I will say for each of you ^^